May your chickens turn into ostriches (part deux)

Regular readers may recall my impressions of Australia from my first visit which ended only 20 months or so ago; and the phrases Aussies use in a somewhat forthright manner which we Brits would never consider using (or the more polite among us…if you can find any nowadays that is!).

My first impressions of a vibrant nation, can do and will do attitude remain as refreshing as ever. The lifestyle is free and easy, the weather supposedly warm (I’m told it’s been cold for November here…a chill spring day comes to mind), and the love of cricket deeply embedded in the whole culture – I suppose that’s the thing that makes the place great for me anyway (not forgetting the rellies and their neighbours and the free flowing alcohol 🍷).

I’ve been quizzed about Brexit, Boris Johnson and the GE back home as no one here understands what’s going on (does anyone?) and there’s a risk under any new trade agreement that Neighbours may no longer be supplied to the UK! It seems that we Brits are the only people who watch en masse. A few tinnies later no one is still any the wiser.

One thing I can’t accept is fizzy red wine – so wrong on so many levels and against nature but then to an Aussie warm beer (supposedly flat) is also anathema!

But there’s so much to like here and to pick one thing would be unfair – but who cares? I think the best episode was my niece at the races last week when, after a sherbet or two, she was amazed to see two grey horses parading in the paddock before the race. I explained that it was the same horse coming around for a second time and there could well be a third grey to follow! Ok, we just each backed the winner of the Melbourne Cup at 12/1 and were on the merry side of sober but it was just hysterical!

I would recommend Australia as a great place to visit but work on the basis that they’re all barking mad and you’ll be fine!

So, NZ next and more adventures!

And in conclusion see if you can work the following phrases into any conversations in the coming days:

1. About as neat as a dick in a shirt sleeve

2. As useful as tits on a bull

3. Trying driving a fart up your arse! (Useful comment when assessing another driver’s ability!)

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